It’s been a while

Dear All

It’s been a quite some time since I last wrote anything here.

I never really got my blogging mojo back with this blog, and I guess to be honest my heart hasn’t been in it for a while.

I started blogging [way back in the heady days of 2005] as a way of dealing with my issues, and finding other gay people to talk to.

I suceeded in that.

From being completely closeted in 2005, I’m now out to most of my friends (but not family), and have a good bunch of gay friends.

While I’m still single, I have had my moments over the last few months too; most memorably snogging a very sexy guy in the middle of a pretty busy street after a night out – I think that shows just how far I’ve come.

I’m a slut I know ;oP

So much has progressed over the last few months, stuff that should have been prime blog material; but I don’t want to write about personal stuff anymore.

It’s difficult to explain -

The things that I’m going through now are special to me, and writing about them feels like its taking away some of the shine.

I’m also becoming very jealous of my time. I’ve started writing again, and things are going quite well, but every time I think about writing a blog post I feel that I should be spending my time on my writing projects.

*

So from being a closeted social misfit, to finding my feet and standing up and starting to become the man that I want to be it’s been quite a journey; and I’m not at journey’s end yet.

But this is the end for my personal blog.

Thanks to everyone who commented and read this and my previous blog or emailed me. Your comments helped more than you can possibly imagine. I hope my inane ramblings even helped some of you on the same journey.

Love Always

Aaron

Amazonia

I have a little bit of an obsession that I would like to share with you today…

It’s a little bit pathetic really, but I love checking out the books that amazon recommends for me to read.

To enlighten those of you from planet Zog-Alpha, I’m not talking about the big area of trees around the equator in south America.

You may not have realised it but amazon analyses everything you buy, and uses your purchase and browsing history to make recommendations to you.

I don’t have much of a problem with this, it’s usually pretty good with it’s recommendations… Their suggestions program does seem to get a little obsessive sometimes though, and seems to promote certain topics above others.

This is the list of books that amazon currently recommends for me:

Cosmos
by Carl Sagan (Aug 11, 1983)
Average Customer Review: (14)
In stock

The Varieties of Scientific Experience: A Personal View of the Search for God
by Carl Sagan (Nov 2, 2006)
Average Customer Review: (3)
In stock

Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Non-Believer: Essential Readings for the Non-believer
by Christopher Hitchens (Nov 15, 2007)
Average Customer Review: (6)
In stock

Catch-22
by Joseph Heller (Oct 6, 1994)
Average Customer Review: (122)
In stock

The Catcher in the Rye
by J.D. Salinger (Aug 4, 1994)
Average Customer Review: (230)
In stock

Animal Farm: A Fairy Story (Penguin Modern Classics)
by George Orwell (Feb 24, 2000)
Average Customer Review: (46)
In stock

Breaking the Spell: Religion as a Natural Phenomenon
by Daniel C. Dennett (Mar 29, 2007)
Average Customer Review: (18)
In stock

Unweaving the Rainbow: Science, Delusion and the Appetite for Wonder
by Richard Dawkins (April 6, 2006)
Average Customer Review: (14)
In stock

God Is Not Great: The Case Against Religion
by Christopher Hitchens (Jun 10, 2007)
Average Customer Review: (67)
In stock

Stardust
by Neil Gaiman (Sep 19, 2005)
Average Customer Review: (55)
In stock

Jumper: Griffin’s Story
by Steven Gould (Feb 4, 2008)
Average Customer Review: (2)
In stock

Neverwhere: The Author’s Preferred Text
by Neil Gaiman (Sep 19, 2005)
Average Customer Review: (24)
Not in stock

How to be a Good Atheist
by Nick Harding (Oct 18, 2007)
Average Customer Review: (2)
In stock

The Selfish Gene
by Richard Dawkins (Mar 16, 2006)
Average Customer Review: (66)
In stock

The End of Faith: Religion, Terror, and the Future of Reason
by Sam Harris (Feb 6, 2006)
Average Customer Review: (53)
In stock

Anyone care to guess which one book seems to have influenced this list more than any other?

At least it’s dropped it’s last obsession… It seemed to get quite excited when it realised I was ordering gay themed books (not smutty stuff). Every book on this list then was gay lit then.

I do wish it would come up with something off the wall sometimes though, and actually make a suggestion based on the multiple books in various different categories that I read… rather than just going through a list of popular books from a theme.

I would love to see it suggest to me a novel about a gay athiest with hints of scifi/scifact, environmentalism and Travel… and best throw in some aliens for good measure too.

Position Vacant: Wingman

The prospect of having to travel internationally was one of the major factors I looked for in a job after I graduated from uni. I love travelling and visiting new places. I’ve done reasonably well so far in my travels having visited 22 countries around the world. I hope to make it 30 before I reach 30 (though quite how anyone will know, because I never intend to admit being thirty, I’m not quite sure).

The sad truth of it though is that travelling for work is not the same as travelling for pleasure. I get one day a week off here, and the rest of the time I’m working 11 hour days.

I’m staying in a pretty plush hotel, and everything is on expenses… I’ve developed a taste for Tanqueray & Tonic. I’m eating my dinner in a different posh restaurant every night too.

But it all gets pretty damn boring when you’re on your own, and there’s only so much posh restaurant food you can eat before you start craving something more normal.

As  much as I may think I’m quite happy with my own company, exploring a new place is always more fun when you do it with someone.

Take last night for example…

There’s a very big gay district in this city, (it’s called Chueca), and last night I decided to take myself to look around for a few hours with the intention of maybe having a couple of beers in one of the local gay bars.

Well, it would have been a lot of fun if I’d been here with a gay friend, but as a single guy walking around not speaking much of the local lingo,  I felt a bit out of it.

I have an pathological aversion to going to bars on my own, I just don’t quite know what to do with myself… do I stand at the bar and drink myself into a stupor talking to the barman… or walk around hitting on interesting looking guys… or do I wait and see if anyone comes over to talk to me? To put it bluntly, I just don’t do bars on my own – everyone needs a wingman…

Walking around Chueca was a new experience though…

There was a real party atmosphere to the place (it was a Saturday night after-all) and there were lots of people around. Lot’s of very pretty (and some not so pretty) gays.

But there was also a sleazier side…

According to my guide book, a lot of the bars had darkrooms…

Aside: A small confession – when I first heard of darkrooms a few years ago, I was surprised that they weren’t the same as the darkrooms I’d used at school for developing photos!

There were saunas, underwear shops & I think I saw clubs that cater for almost every flavour of gay there is!

Each time I saw another sign for a sauna, I couldn’t help but remember Bobby’s posts about what goes on inside and wondering whether they are the same the world over… but at the same time having no desire to go in an find out!

In the end, I didn’t go into any of them… Far too intimidating without a wingman.

And that friends is the worst part of travelling alone. I need to find me some new travel buddies for my next personal holiday… wherever that might take me.

Ohh and just for the hell of it… The ultimate homoerotic movie scene with lots of wingmen!

An embarrassing thing I did today.

I thought I’d have a cultural day today, so I took myself to an art gallery.

There was a picasso exhibition on at the time, and I was quite enjoying walking around looking at the various art works, and people watching too… (There’s no shortage of good looking guys here).

It was a free entry day at the gallery, so it was very busy and very noisy.

So when my phone rang I thought nothing of moving to the side of the room and answering it. (If it hadn’t already been noisy I wouldn’t have answered it)

But back to the story…

I answered the phone at the side of the room, and was pleased to hear a familiar voice having been wondering around on my own all weekend. I decided to chat for a moment a leaned against the wall behind me…

It seemed a little further away than I thought as I leaned back.

A split second later as I passed the point of no return, I realised that it wasn’t a wall…

It was in fact a fabric partition fixed at the roof and at the floor, and stretched tight thus looked like a wall.

I fell back… almost completely through it, and ended up in a heap on the floor of this gallery with what felt like everyone watching me.

I had to leave after that… I couldn’t bear to walk through the rest of the exhibition…

Ohh… and for a more blatant hint as to where I am…

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absence note

It’s just after midnight, and in a little over three hours a car will be arriving to take me to the airport.

I’m not sure why I’m writing this now, it’s been three weeks since I last wrote anything; and this post is really just to tell you it’s going to be at least another month probably before I post again.

Maybe I realise that if I didn’t post anything for two months, I’d loose the few people that do still read my inane ramblings.

Another thought (which I’m too tired to really think about right now, and really should be getting some sleep before my car gets here) does this post count as Irony?

Hmmm… Maybe not.

Until next time

Adiós muchachos x

That’s my monday nights sorted for the next few months

Skins returned to television screens across the UK tonight for the season premiere of series two. And what a triumphant return it was. Skins was my top pick of last years viewing, simply because it was the most original new series last year. This new series promises more of the same high quality viewing that had me enthralled week after week last year.

My favourite (and every other gay guy and straight girls favourite) Maxxie (played by Mitch Hewer) has deservedly an even more prominent role in this series than the last. I can’t wait to see how his story lines develop, and find out what is in store for Maxxie in this series. If the teasers at the end of this weeks episode are anything to go by, we should be in for a Maxxie treat next week too.

There is just a little irony though; it looks like in 3 weeks time I’ll be living abroad for a few months, missing the rest of the series…

(Unless I manage to find a sneaky download somewhere!)

a chilling second date

Has is been a week and a half already?

Who Knew!

So we eventually did meet for that date; the day after my last post… I have been a lazy blogger haven’t I!

We met, had pizza (well, I had pizza, he was unfortunately still feeling ill, and realised this when he tried his pizza), we chatted, we set a date for our second meeting.

2nd date… Cinema

Sweeny Todd was fabulous. So utterly not what I was expecting. One of Depp’s best roles yet.

3rd date… His house

We chatted

We got to know each other more

We watched a film

We chatted some more

I was about to leave when he asked me the question “Are you interested?”

I knew it was coming; I didn’t panic; I knew the answer.

“In being friends – yes”

I’m not quite there yet

The Heartbreak Kid

It didn’t happen this weekend.

I got a message from him at lunchtime on the day we were due to meet. He was feeling unwell, and asked if we could postpone our drinks.

My heart sank.

Hopefully we’ll rearrange things again for sometime this week.

I was really getting quite stoked on the idea of going on my first gay date.

I will of course keep you all informed; and for the meantime, he’s picked up a nick-name “The Heartbreak Kid”.

Let’s hope he relinquishes that title pretty quickly.

baby’s got a brand new toy! Moblog On!

from out of nowhere

It would seem that from out of nowhere, I have a date this weekend!

I say again…

I HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND!

I met this guy on Friday night, he works with one of my housemates. She’d guessed that he was gay, but he’d never actually told her…

Yesterday he asked her if I was single!

Kudos to the guy, he outed himself to a work colleague to get a date.

So today I sent him an email to say hi…

and as simply as that we’re meeting up at the weekend!

I’m going to repeat it again because for the first time ever I’m going to have a gay date!

I HAVE A DATE THIS WEEKEND!!!!!