Worthless
18 November, 2007
It’s Sunday night, almost 11pm. Back to the daily grind tomorrow. I’ve spent a good porion of the weekend muling over some things that have happened over the last few weeks.
–
I’ve never pulled a sickie before. In the eleven years that I’ve been working (4 full time), I have had a grand total of two days sick leave. On each occasion, I was genuinely ill. It would be completely out of character for me to just skip a day.
I sometimes enjoy my job, I worked damn hard to get into my career, and the prospects are excellent…
A few things that have happened over the last few weeks have been troubling me though, and I’m really now seriously considering whether I need a change of tack.
It all boils down to my boss. He’s in his 60’s and quite old fashioned. He’s quite un-PC (which I don’t normally see as a bad thing), will tell some mild sexist jokes, and his opinions of women in the workplace don’t seem to have changed since the 60’s. He’s also fiercely anti-racist.
He is however homophobic.
Some of his comments this week (none directed at me) have left me feeling pretty much utterly worthless.
I don’t remember his exact words but -
“These bloody queers seem to be everywhere…”
“It seems to be becoming the norm…”
“Poofs…”
“Queers…”
“I didn’t think we had those sorts in [career]“
I can’t go on listening to him, saying nothing, for much longer. I’m sure he wouldn’t make these comments in front of someone he knew to be gay; but I’m equally certain that A) if he knew I was gay wouldn’t have hired me in the first instance. B) If he found out I was gay, would find a reason to fire me.
So I’m basically left in a position where I feel really pretty worthless.
I don’t know what’s more frustrating… him saying things, or me sitting at my desk saying nothing.
I don’t want to go to work tomorrow. I’m almost getting to a point where I would consider taking a sick day. I think however that would take me down a path I don’t want… so for the meantime I’m resisting.
That sounds like a pretty ordinary situation to be in
You shouldn’t feel worthless though and you mustn’t blame yourself for someone else’s inadequacies.
Keep strong and don’t rush into anything would be my advice… but then I’m boringly cautious about everything
I don’t know what to say really. I’ve never experienced anything like that really, and if I had then I think I would’ve had trouble stopping my mouth from saying something equally offensive back.
Just give him a wink and a little pinch of the arse. That should sort him out.
Difficult. I have been gradually getting more widely out at work this year, but that doesn’t mean that everyone knows. My boss obviously doesn’t, judging by a recent throwaway comment that left me absolutely incensed. I sympathise. I didn’t say anything to him then either, and I felt crap about it. It’s hard when it’s your boss.
Don’t feel worthless though – it is his failure rather than yours. How long is he likely to be your boss for (given he is in his 60’s)? If you only have to stick it for a few months, then you will probably make it. Of course, you shouldn’t have to. Is there anyone else there you could talk to? Is there some neutral figure you could approach and raise the issue with?
Never let them get you down!!! Next time he says something, just tell that it not the 1960’s and not appropriate in the workplace. I did it a few years back and he is the picture of office PC now…