Who Knows!?!
9 December, 2007
Recently I’ve started to let go of the control that I’ve attempted to exert for so long.
I’m starting to feel a lot more relaxed about who I am, and indeed, who knows! In fact, I’ve got to the point where I don’t actually know who knows.
And it doesn’t bother me.
I still have that little bit of separation between my old life with my family, my work life, and my home life.
Some of you long term readers might even have noticed that I even posted a picture of myself here a couple of weeks ago. It’s not something that I ever thought I’d do, but it just seemed right at the time, and you know what… it’s yet another thing that doesn’t bother me.
It feels good to let go of the control and just see how things will pan out… I hadn’t realised just how much strain it was putting on me. I’m more relaxed, less of a closed book.
I even found myself dancing round a pole with a guy last weekend… not a pretty sight, but I just didn’t care.
I’m gradually building up to reducing the separation too. Eventually there will be just home life, and work life… I look forward to feeling this relaxed with a lot more people… soon.
It would be nice to visit my family this Christmas, and not have to face the usual barrage of questions…
Any girlfriends yet?
No… but meet Pablo.. he’s my special friend [lecherous wink]
In answer to the title of this post – Who Knows?
NOT BOTHEREDÂ [with a few minor caveats]
“Pablo, how did you two meet?”
“I don’t remember. All the shagging made me forget.”
I have certainly noticed a change in your behavior since I first met you. back then you were constantly looking over your shoulder and I distinctly rememebr you being very shakey and uncomfortable when you first stepped into the local gay bar… however, now days you do seem much more relaxed and unbothered by the whole thing, which is great!
Stuart maybe he was just watching for Russian spies?
Glad to hear your more relaxed, you probably added on several years to your life!